Bringing your new girlfriend home. The ultimate guide for introducing your significant other to your parents

You’ve already met her parents. Now it’s time for her to meet yours.

When you met her folks for the first time, your biggest concern was making a good first impression. Now that the roles are reversed, your focus should be on helping her make a good impression. If she’s a keeper, she’ll probably care a lot about your parents liking her. And you likely want them to give her the thumbs up too. Your folks and your significant other may not always get along, but when they do, things sure go a lot more happily.

While bringing your girlfriend home for the first time can be a little awkward and nerve-racking for all parties involved, here are some quick tips for making everyone feel comfortable and helping things go as smoothly as possible.

Be sure you’re really ready to bring her home. In most circumstances, a woman will interpret an invitation to meet your parents as a signal that you think she’s special and your relationship is fairly serious. Your parents will likely interpret the move in the same way. So don’t bring a gal home (especially for a holiday) unless you want to communicate to both parties that you’re hoping she’s going to be around for a while (and you’re okay with your mum asking about her incessantly until you break-up or tie the knot).

Prepare them. You can lay the groundwork for a smooth meeting by preparing both your parents and your girlfriend for what to expect from each other. Here are some things to discuss with your folks about your gal:

• Conversation starters. Everybody wants to avoid awkward pauses as much as possible, and your folks want to get to know your girlfriend better. But the less you’ve told them about her, the harder it is for them to know what to ask in conversation. Give your parents some background information on her that will help them come up with questions. “Rob told us you traveled through Europe for a month last summer. What was your favorite country?”
• Conversations to avoid. You should also let your parents know about sensitive topics it would be best to avoid. “So where do your parents live?” “My dad is dead and my mum is in jail.” “Oh.”
• Dietary preferences/restrictions. If your girlfriend is allergic to peanuts and a vegetarian, you don’t want your mu
• m serving up kung pao chicken for dinner. You may even clue your parents in to a favorite meal or two of your girlfriend’s. Having familiar food in a new environment will help her feel more comfortable.

Prepare her. Just as you did with you parents, go over conversation starters and pitfalls with your girlfriend too. And fill her in about other things as well:

• Family dynamics dossier. Give your girlfriend a primer about the drama and dynamics in your family. Your mum hates your stepmum, your brother is in rehab, your dad has been out of work for six months. Those kinds of things. The more she knows, the less likely she is to inadvertently “step in it.”
• Gift. If your girlfriend would like to bring a gift for your parents, that’s definitely a nice gesture. Give her some suggestions on what would go over well. Does your mum have a favorite flower? Do they love trying new coffees? You don’t want your girlfriend to offer a bottle of wine to your teetotaling parents.
• Common ground she shares with your parents. People like other people who are like them. So let your girlfriend know a thing or two she has in common with your folks that she can bring up with them. “Andrew tells me you’re into gardening. I’ve been trying to dip my toes into it by starting a little windowsill garden in my apartment.”
• Physical affection. Let her know about how your family demonstrates physical affection. Maybe your mum isn’t a hugger and it would be best for your girlfriend to offer a handshake. Or maybe she needs to be prepared for the fact that your mum is going to smooch her right on the lips.
• House rules. Should she take off her shoes when she comes inside? Will your parents expect you to sleep in separate rooms? Do you always say grace before meals? You don’t want your gal to be digging into her meatloaf as everyone else bows their head for a prayer.

Remember to keep looking at the situation from her perspective. When you go back home you’re in your ultimate comfort zone – with people you’ve been around for a couple of decades and in the house you may have grown up in. It’s easy to forget that your girlfriend isn’t feeling the same way you are; to her, everything is new and unfamiliar. It’s a good exercise to think about walking into another person’s house, maybe even her parents’ house, for the first time, and remember the way you felt a little out of place and not so at ease. This will help guide your behavior and remind you to do what you can to make your girlfriend feel comfortable.

Offer her food and drinks. On this first visit, she’s not going to feel comfortable grabbing things out of the fridge and she doesn’t know where stuff like the glasses and utensils are. So take the initiative in offering her refreshments.

Praise her in front of them. It’s not polite for her to bring up her own accomplishments and strong points. But you can, and should. “Sophie is the most amazing cook.” “Grace started a tutoring program for disadvantaged kids that just landed a big grant.” Praising your girlfriend in front of your parents will make her feel really good, and help them see her in a positive light.

Stick by her side as much as possible. This is the most important rule. Maybe you haven’t seen your brother for awhile and you’re tempted to leave your girlfriend in the living room with your parents while you two play video games upstairs. It’s understandable, but in this situation you need to put your girlfriend first. Again, keep in mind that while you feel super comfortable, she doesn’t. Getting left alone with your folks to make small talk can make her feel really anxious and awkward, not to mention abandoned. Hopefully, after a few visits and getting to know them better, she’ll feel a lot more comfortable around them. But on this first visit (and for several thereafter), try to stick by her side as much as possible.

Embracing your mo-ment! How to grow an amazing moustache this Movember!

No one ever said growing a 'tache is easy. From the first pubescent bum fluff to those comedy coppery bits and rogue grey hairs, we men come in for some terrible stick thanks to our facial fuzz. Yet still we grow it.

Why? Because we can, and women (mostly) can't, that's why.

And with November designated Movember, a month to grow a 'tache in the name of charity, there's never been a better time to cultivate a caterpillar or give a Mo a go. Here are a few tips to get your started...

1. Choose your Mo-ment

When growing 'taches, many men fall at the 'messy' stage - usually a week or so in when the Mo is at its most unsightly.

But like being forced to sit through an episode of EastEnders, it's something that you just have to tolerate, safe in the knowledge that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Using a weekend to get a head start is a good idea, or even better a week's holiday - that way by the time you return, you'll be over the unsightly, itchy stage.

2. Decide and define

Finding a style that suits you will probably take a few attempts so play around with your Mo's length and thickness.

Always shave just outside the line of your moustache - that will leave you room to tidy it up properly with a the edging blade of razor, ensure it's symmetrical (studies have shown that women find men with symmetrical faces more attractive) and, if you're planning anything remotely intricate, use a magnifying shaving mirror so you get pinpoint accuracy.

3. Keep it neat

Talk to women about moustaches and you'll soon discover that it's not Mo's per se that women are scared of, it's unkempt ones. In fact, an unkempt Mo is the facial equivalent of dirty fingernails.

So keep yours nearly trimmed and even in length with a gadget like Remington's MB320C Beard Trimmer and remove the guard to give the bottom of your 'tache a neat edge, always making sure it's level with the lip line or just above.

4. Moisturise

The skin under facial hair can become especially dry, partly because hair tends to wick moisture away from the skin allowing it to evaporate. The result can be itchy skin and dry 'tache flakes.

This is not a good look so, when moisturising, pay particular attention to the skin under your facial hair, massaging your regular moisturiser in thoroughly with your fingertips.

5. Give it a comb-over

In the same way that your barnet benefits from a brushing, your Mo can too, especially if you're going for an uber-bushy 'walrus', a Tom Selleck or a 1970s-style pornstache.

You'll look pretty silly using a regular comb to tame your 'tache, though, so get yourself a Kent Brushes Moustache Comb .

Dinky enough to fit in your pocket it's perfect for keeping your 'tache tip top.

6. Keep it clean

Moustaches are magnets for stray bits of food and because of hair's porous nature also have a bad habit of absorbing nasty niffs.

So wash thoroughly with you regular facial wash (you can use a scrub on it too) and always rinse with warm water after eating.

You can keep it soft and silky by slapping a little hair conditioner on it each time you wash your hair.

7. Wax lyrical

In the same way that your barnet benefits from a touch of wax, gel or a fancy matte putty, your Mo will look miles better with a little waxing too.

Moustache wax (yes, such a thing exists) is good for taming, training and holding longer styles and giving definition to the tips. Warm with your fingertips, apply sparingly and just...play and see what happens.

8. Shower before shaving

When shaving around your burgeoning 'tache, use a transparent shave gel or shave oil, which allow you to see where're you're going with the razor, and shave after a shower.

This way, the water and steam will have softened the hairs, making them easier to cut.

9. Dye right

Ever excitedly grown a 'tache only to discover it isn't just as tough as copper wire but the same colour too? As traumatising as it is, GTS (Ginger Tache Syndrome) can affect any man whatever his hair colour.

If you can't live with it, simply dye it to match your natural hair colour with one of Just For Men's Beard and Moustache Colour gels.

They're perfect for covering up grey hairs, too.

10. Call in the professionals

If you're attempting something fancy, haven't got a clue about how to style your 'tache or simply decide to keep it as a permanent fixture and want your mo to look magnificent, think about getting some professional help.

Many grooming emporiums and barbers offer a moustache-shaping service which is a good way to create a style you can then maintain yourself.

What men like in men- an argument from 1910

If you were to ask the average man to tell you offhand just what qualities he likes in other men, he would probably boggle a good deal over his answer. His first impulse would be to say, “Oh, I don’t know!” which is with men a convenient formula for avoiding thought upon unexpected or (to them) uninteresting topics. A little later, after turning the matter over in his mind, he would give you a catalogue of qualities to which he would be willing to swear. His list, however, would bear a strong resemblance to the “hundred-best-book” lists made my persons who sincerely believe that they are expressing their own literary preferences, but who are actually indulging in a bit of intellectual pose. Just as these individuals mention the books which they feel they ought to enjoy reading rather than those which they really read, so the average man will name a number of qualities which he thinks he likes, rather than those which in his heart of hearts he actually does like.

In the case of one who tries to enumerate the characteristics which he admires in other men, this sort of answer is not insincere. Although it is defective, and essentially untrue, the man himself is quite unconscious of the fact. The inaccuracy of his answers really comes from his inability to analyze his own preferences. The typical man is curiously deficient in a capacity for self-analysis. He seldom devotes any serious thought to the origin of his opinions, the determining factor in his judgments, the ultimate source of his desires, or the hidden mainsprings of his motives. In all that relates to the external and material world he observes shrewdly, reasons logically, and acts effectively; but question him as to the phenomena of the inner world – the world of his own Ego – and he is dazed and helpless. This he never bothers his head about, and when you interrogate him closely and do not let him put you off with easy generalities, he will become confused and at last contemptuous, if not actually angry. He will begin so suspect that you are just a little “queer”; and if he knows you well enough to be quite frank with you, he will stigmatize your psychological inquiries as “rot.”…

So when you ask a man just what it is that he most likes in other men you find him utterly unable to give you any satisfactory reply. …

[I]t will clear the ground a little if we first discover what it is that men dislike in men.

I suppose that every man who is a man would readily agree that he dislikes a “Sissy”; but it is doubtful whether most persons could give off-hand a really comprehensive definition of what a Sissy really is…

The subject of Sissyism is really very interesting – first because there are so many Sissies in the world, and in the second place because only a very small number of them are usually recognized as being such. Hence it may be worthwhile to give a little space to Sissyism here and to regard it in a scientific spirit, since, negatively at least, it has a definite bearing upon the subject of this paper.

Most persons when they think of Sissies, have a mental picture before them which is easily described. A slender, youthful figure, smooth-faced, a little vacuous in the expression of the countenance, with light hair and rather pale blue eyes a little wide apart; a voice not necessarily weak, but lacking timbre, resonance, carrying-power. The mouth is wavery and the lips are imperfectly closed. The chin tapers away a little. The shoulders slope, not with that peculiar slope and droop which often accompany great physical strength, as shown in the famous statue of the Farnese Hercules, but slanting straight down, so that unless they are scientifically padded by the Sissy’s tailor, they scarcely give you the effect of being shoulders. The neck is usually long, and the pomum Adami or Adam’s apple is very likely to be noticeable. The hands and feet are often large; or if not large, not very well compacted and put together, but giving one a general feeling that they are more or less imperfect. Such are the main physical attributes of one particular kind of Sissy.

In other respects his traits may easily be sketched and recognized. He is polite and rather anxious to please. He wishes always to do the thing which happens to be the proper thing at any given time. He never would think of initiating anything novel or starting out in a new and unexpected course. He likes very much to be with ladies, and ladies like him – in a way. He is a most useful creature and absolutely harmless, intended by Providence to carry wraps and rugs, to order carriages, to provide theater-tickets, flowers, bon-bons, opera-boxes and four-in-hands, according to his means and the position which he holds. He will call regularly upon a girl and in fact upon all the girls he knows, and he will keep it up for years, and it will never mean anything to him or to them, for he is essentially a tame cat…He is really an indispensable person in our modern life; for it is desirable that young women should have some male creature about them to fetch and carry – one who will do it all for the mere pleasure of the service, and who will never agitate them and disquiet them or make them feel it necessary to be on their guard. The best picture of a this especial type of Sissy, perhaps a little bit idealized, is that which is drawn by Henry James in his delicious story, “An International Episode.” Turn to its pages and you will find there a sublimated portrait of a Sissy, in the character who bears the subtly felicitous and expressive name of Willie Woodley.

But the Sissy of this sort is of no particular interest to philosophical students of human life. He is merely a somewhat effeminate young person who does not count. Men laugh at him, perhaps; yet he is not of sufficient consequence to be actively disliked. The true Sissy, who has never yet been classified as such, is the man of any age or any external appearance who for certain physical reasons always inspires you with a vague yet insurmountable feeling of malaise. He need not be a physical weakling at all. The most perfect specimen of this type that I have ever seen was a man over six feet in height, of powerful build, and with the torso of a gladiator. When you first saw him you said to yourself, “Here is a man!” Yet he was a Sissy all the same. Nature had merely mocked him in giving him a presence such as his. Back of his thews and sinews, back of his broad chest and massive head, there dwelt a Sissy-soul, and every man and woman who came to know him felt it by an unerring instinct. I never encountered so striking an illustration of the relative importance of mind and body. When he spoke, he uttered nothing but inanities. When he laughed, the sound concealed a giggle. When he was angry, he scolded like a peevish woman. When he was hurt, he whined. When he was pleased, he simpered. Whatever he did or said or thought, he was always flat. This kind of Sissy is the kind that men dislike – and women too; and the reason for it when you get down to the last analysis, is that in everything he is somehow incomplete. He tries to do as others do, and yet he never rings quite true. With men he endeavors to assume an air of manliness, and they laugh at him or else avoid him. He is always groping for something that he never finds. With women he endeavors to ingratiate himself, and they resent it. He is chicken-hearted, cold, and fearful. He would like to be considered dangerous – a rake, a man of the world, a gaillard, a viveur – and when he nerves himself up to some piece of petty vice, he runs about the cackles over it, though all the while he quakes internally lest the wrong persons should ever hear it. He has no daring, but he ventures on all sorts of odious little familiarities – the furtive squeezing of hands, the pressure of arms, the ogling and leering which he considers safe and yet conducive to a reputation for gallantry. He is of the class of the street masher, only with him it all means nothing, for his blood is water. How women hate him! They will always, in their heart of hearts, pardon a man who is impetuously overbold, even though they ever after shut him from their presence; but a Sissy with his flabby, feeble, mawkish imitation of an ardor which he never felt, affects them with a sort of moral nausea. Nothing that he tries to be can he succeed in being. He tries to be witty and is only flat; he tries to be profound and is only platitudinous; he tries to be daring and is only impudent; he tries to be ardent and is only offensive. As I said before, he represents a certain intellectual and spiritual incompleteness, in the presence of which the normal man experiences a most intense repulsion.

The traits in which this type of Sissy is most lacking are the traits which men most like in men. And yet this is a very negative description. Moreover we must distinguish between the man who is merely “popular” with others, and the man who is really liked, the man to whom other men will go not only in their jovial moods but in their serious ones as well, the man for whom they will make sacrifices and of whose friendship they are really proud. Many a man with easy manners, with a reckless, careless, hearty air, is popular. He has the gift of picking up acquaintances at every turn, of entertaining them, of making himself known as a “good fellow.” Yet all this sort of thing is superficial. Deep down there must be something more fundamental in order that a man may grasp and hold the hearts of other men. These vital attributes are few in number, and with the exception of just one they do not need much more than a mere mention.

First of all, a man must be what other men call “square” – which implies that he must have a sense of honor. This means so much in the relations of men with men. From women they do not expect it, at least in the fullest sense – a man’s sense; but it is the very corner-stone of friendship among men. For it does not mean that one must be merely true to his friends, but, in a sense, to those who are not his friends, who are even, possibly, his enemies. Fair play and the rigor of the game is a masculine ideal; and men will trust and like and honor those who live up to its strict requirements. The foundation of it all is justice – the most masculine of virtues, and the only one in which no woman ever had a share. Some women have been generous, and many have been brave and wise and self-denying, but there has never lived a woman who was absolutely just. Justice, even-handed, clear-eyed, supreme over prejudice and passion – this is God’s gift to man alone, and man alone can feel how splendid and sublime a thing it is.

Allied to it is reasonableness, another virtue that appeals to men when found in other men. It involves a number of related qualities, and most of all a sense of humor which throws a clear light of its own upon so many difficulties, and sets things in their true proportions, and shows how small the small things really are. Reasonableness is the lubricant of life, as the lack of it is the irritant. No other virtue can quite compensate for the absence of this reasonableness; and he who has the quality is one to whom all men will be drawn as by a magnet.

Then there is courage, without which man is not a man; and generosity, which really is an element of reasonableness; and with these, modesty, which, while it quietly conceals the other traits, does in the end enhance their value and increase the charm which they possess. And dignity, which many would not name or think of, is a most important element in the character of the man whom other men most like. For dignity is not to be confounded with its counterfeits – with stiffness or pomposity, or even with reserve. It is the touch of self-respect which exists in every fine character and which is never consciously assertive but which even the most careless spirit can feel and recognize. No really great man ever lacked it; and no human being ever felt it to be other than a claim upon his liking. For it means that somewhere there exists a barrier which none can pass, a barrier which shuts the way to the sanctuary of a human soul. And men respect this, and without respect there is no liking that endures.

The last of all the qualities which men like most in men is one of which but few are conscious even when they feel its influence. We have seen that men dislike effeminacy. They do. Yet in the nature of men whom other men like best there is always to be traced a touch of something that is feminine. It is like a thread of silver woven in some useful fabric, gleaming amid the plain, strong texture of the web, not very noticeable and yet imparting just a hint of beauty to the whole. This feminine quality in man gives fineness to the character. Intellectually it means intuition, sensitiveness to all impressions, and the imaginative element which illumines the dark places of the mind and shows the way to great achievement. Temperamentally it denotes gentleness, and the tenderness which is the perfect complement to strength. It is to men who have this last and finest gift, that other men, since history began, have given not alone their liking but their service, their devotion, and their very lives.

What then is the conclusion? Men like in men these traits: the honor that ennobles; the justice that insures the right; the reasonableness that mellows and makes plain; the courage that proclaims virility; the generous instinct that disdains all meanness; the modesty that makes no boast; the dignity that wins respect; the fineness and the tenderness that know and feel. But when one thinks of it more carefully, may he not sum it up in just a single sentence, and accept it as truth, that all men like a gentleman?

Simple Rules To Look Amazing in Photos!

Everyone wants to be photogenic, even us men. We all want that great photo which captures us in our element looking like some sexy love child of Jessica Alba and Brad Pitt. One for the Facebook profile picture that will catch the eye of that gorgeous girl you met a few weeks ago which you haven’t had the confidence to ask out yet. Most of the time this ends up with us looking like a half retarded, squinting mess which only results in hanging our heads in shame and trying to convince whoever took the photo to remove it from Facebook.

Here are 5 simple tips and handy rules to help you look better photos more often.

Photo Rule #1 – No drinks in your hand
Some clever person once said to never have your photos taken with a drink in hand. We agree, especially if it’s for a dating profile as it makes you look like an alcoholic (even though most of us are) and will often make you look more awkward than awesome.

Photo Rule #2 – Know which buttons should be done up
Whether you’re wearing a shirt or a blazer (or both) you had best get your shit in order and learn which buttons should be done up (exhibit A in the first picture). Firstly if you’re wearing a tie, then your shirt’s top button should ALWAYS be done up. None of this loose tie crap, It’s just lazy. If you find it uncomfortable with the button done up then your collar is too small and you need to buy a new shirt.

If you’re wearing a blazer then remember (if you do it up), then make sure it’s the top button only. Also never wear a suit that has more than 2 buttons- it screams tacky! If you’re wearing pants (and we hope you are) check that your fly is done up too and try and avoid wearing pants that have buttons instead of a zipper as they always lead to the awkward inquiry as to whether your fly is down and the inevitable shutdown response that they are in fact actually buttons- AWKWARDVILLE!

Photo Rule  #3 – Avoid gang signs 
How this trend caught on with guys I’ll never know- likely one too many gangster movies featuring 50 cent. The gang sign should be reserved for bloods, crips and the girls who choose to follow them around, not grown men in photos. Putting your arm around your bro is fine, but make sure you’re standing up straight and not throwing peace, peeps or puppet signals.

Photo Rule  #4 – Perfect your smile
There’s nothing wrong with perfecting your smile and banishing your inner mong chop. Pay attention to all the shitty photos of yourself and learn what NOT to do. Over smiling, going cross-eyed, excessive blinking and or thinking about face sucking the hot girl who just walked past whilst getting that glazed look in your eyes should be avoided. Once you get it right, it’s yours for life.

Photo Rule #5 – Don’t always look at the camera
Steve McQueen and Marlon Brando all had one thing in common. They were often snapped in candid moments. Moments captured in time that will live on for many generations to come. If you’re aware there’s a camera around, then ignore it, slow your movements, have fun and with any luck they’ll snap you at your best moment- either that or capture a timeless shot of you looking like a bulldog eating mayonnaise but I guess that’s the risk we take!

How to remove common stains from your favourite clothes!

Plop.

That’s the sound of BBQ sauce landing on your brand new blazer coat as you’re chowing down on some mouthwatering ribs.

Dadgummit. You need to wear that jacket to a business presentation at the end of the week. What to do?

From sliding into first base to finding a leaky pen in your pocket, everybody stains their clothing from time to time. But stains aren’t just common annoyances; if you can’t get them out, they can cut short the life of otherwise perfectly nice (and sometimes expensive) duds.

The key to preventing yourself from throwing money out the window along with your stained clothes is to learn how to tackle stains as soon as possible and in the right way. Today we’re going to show you how to treat and remove common stains so you can get as much mileage out of your wardrobe as possible.

Key Steps to Prevent Setting

The most important thing, no matter what kind of stain you’re dealing with, is to prevent it from setting. “Setting” is an informal term that refers to the staining material forming a chemical bond with the fabric. At that point it is effectively permanent. Removing the discoloration will require removing the discolored fabric itself. Sometimes you can remove a set stain by scrubbing until the stained fibers are worn off, leaving unstained ones visible; other times the stain will remain in the fabric unless you physically cut the stained fabric out and put a patch in its place. To prevent having to throw away a garment with a permanent stain, follow these general guidelines:

• Treat any stain immediately with water, or with the proper solvent if it is available (different types of solvents are discussed below, but water is always better than nothing).
• Avoid direct heat. Heat will speed most types of stains’ bonding. Do not place stained clothing near radiant heat sources, and try to only use room temperature or lukewarm solvents.
• Avoid pressure. Apply solvents gently, dabbing them onto the stain and letting them soak in rather than scrubbing forcefully.

If the stain occurs at home, you can go straight to treating it. If you’re out and about, get to a restroom and gently dab water onto the stained area with tissue paper or paper towels until the stain is thoroughly saturated. Yes, it may be more visible with water dabbed on it, but it will prevent the stain from becoming permanent, saving you garment repair or replacement in the long run.

Detailed Stain Removal

Acting at once to prevent the stain from setting is necessary, but not sufficient. Most common stains won’t be removed completely just by dabbing some water on them and going about your business.

There are three basic steps toward effective stain removal, regardless of the nature of the stain:

1. Select the appropriate solvent.
2. Use the appropriate application method.
3. Seek necessary after-care.

For most household stains this doesn’t require too much research or investment. Common commercial products (and even some basic food supplies) will treat a large percentage of stains. It’s simply a matter of knowing which product to put on the stain, and how to put it there without damaging the cloth.

Selecting the Appropriate Solvent

Picking the right solvent requires you to know two things: 1) what will dissolve the stain in question, 2) and what is safe to use on the cloth you’re working with.

What Each Fabric Requires

Use the wrong product and you can end up damaging your cloth worse than the original stain. Most clothes are made from fairly sturdy materials, but they all have their strengths and weaknesses.

Always check the label. It’s your best guide in most cases. If it doesn’t provide any specific instructions, go by fabric type:

Cotton: can endure soaking, drying, and heat (though you want to avoid the latter for most stains — warm water is fine, but dry heat just sets the stain). It’s easy to bleach white cotton, but very hard on the fabric, so use chlorine bleaches as a last resort, and dilute them well. The best stain treatments for cotton are detergents and light acids (lemon juice, vinegar, etc.).

Wool: is much more heat-sensitive than cotton, and needs to be treated gently. You can soak it, but you have to lay it flat as it dries to prevent distortion. Use only wool-safe detergents and lukewarm (not hot) water — bleaches and acidic treatments will damage the wool permanently. Treat with water or a wool detergent as soon as possible, and then get the garment to the dry cleaner at the first opportunity.

Synthetics: vary depending on the material. Rayon and polyester can be washed and scrubbed more harshly than cotton, but will be destroyed by oxidizing bleaches like hydrogen peroxide. It’s usually best to clean them with a standard laundry detergent, or with dish soap for grease-heavy stains.

Silk: is exceedingly temperamental. You can treat stains on silk with water, but rather than letting the wet spot dry on its own, rinse the whole garment thoroughly — otherwise you’ll get water spotting, nearly as bad as the original stain. Glycerin stain remover is also effective and neutral.

No matter what you’re using, test the stain remover on an inside patch of the cloth or an unobtrusive seam before applying it to the stain to make sure it doesn’t do anything damaging to the fabric. Water is the only thing you can automatically apply — and even then make sure it’s the right temperature.

Types of Solvents (And the Stains They Remove)

Here are the major families of stain removers and solvents, and the kinds of stains they’re most effective at cleaning:

Water: Universal, safe to use on basically everything, and cheap. Effective as an immediate treatment to prevent stain setting. Needs prolonged soaking to have much effect on grease/oil stains, but reduces the effect of dyes (lipstick, hair dye, bleed from other clothes, etc.) considerably. Usually not a 100% effective treatment all on its own.

Salt: Cheap and almost everyone has it. Can be applied on top of a wetted stain to give the chemicals something to leech into. Effective on sweat/deodorant armpit stains, red wine, and blood stains.

Vinegar/Lemon Juice: Mild acids are great against coffee and tea, grass stains, and sticky residues like tape and glue. Vinegar is also effective against mildew — perfect for laundry that sat wet too long. Remember, though, don’t use on wool.

Detergent: Laundry and dish detergents are similar enough to use interchangeably in most situations. Dish detergent is usually harsher, and may make very delicate fabrics worse if you don’t wash it out thoroughly. Both are particularly effective against grease stains, so use them on everything from gravy and burger juice to chocolate smears.

Oxidizing Bleaches: Hydrogen peroxide is the most common example here. They’re effective at removing color, making them ideal for makeup stains, grass stains, and other pigment-based damage. They’re less effective against grease, and can damage delicate fabrics. Dilute as needed for a milder treatment.

Glycerin: A neutral, commercially available treatment that helps to draw stains out of fabrics. Good on ink and dye stains. Many commercial “stain sticks” are glycerin, or a combination of glycerin and detergent.

Mineral Spirits: An intense treatment for very stubborn greases (asphalt/tar stains, etc.). Too strong for delicate fabrics. Wash the clothing thoroughly after treatment and air-dry.

Digestants/Enzyme Cleaners: Commercial products sold under a variety of names. Highly effective on organic stains, and on stains with an odor (egg yolk, pet urine, blood, sweat, etc.). Cannot be used on wool or silk — the cleaner feeds on proteins, and both wool and silk are made from proteins.

Dry Cleaning Solvents: These are sold in a diluted form for home treatment of stains. Use them with caution — you’re rarely better off using commercially sold dry cleaning solution than you are taking the clothes to a professional cleaner.

Chlorine Bleaches: A harsh, last-ditch remedy. Use with caution. Can damage fabric and discolor non-white cloth. Always test a small, hidden area first, and only if the tag does not say “No Bleach” or “Chlorine Free” on it.

Not all stains are going to give way easily to one kind of treatment. Some will require multiple treatments for multiple problems: many lipsticks, for example, have both an oil component and a dye component.

In general, treat dyes before oils — chocolate, for example, is best treated with a lukewarm water soak and then with a bit of detergent applied directly to the stain.

Getting Rid of the Stain

The right product applied the wrong way can make the stain set worse.

Most of the time this boils down to a very simple concept: never apply direct force.

Dab gently or soak indirectly, rather than scrubbing with a cloth or your fingers.

That said, you can get better results if you use a series of steps designed specifically to draw the stain out of the fabric and into something else:

• Soak the stain with water immediately while you are still wearing it. We’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Always dab some room temperature water onto the stain with a bit of toilet paper or tissue as soon as possible. Make sure the whole stain gets soaked, and that the water soaks all the way through the fabric rather than just sitting on the surface.
• When you remove the garment, re-wet the stain and apply an absorbent. Salt is the most common and cheapest, but some people use cornstarch or talcum powder for a similar effect. This works best on smooth fabrics like cotton knits — applying salt to a wool, tweed jacket is just going to be a pain to scrape off later. Let the absorbent sit for ten or fifteen minutes, then scrape the bulk of it off and rinse the rest out with water.
• Apply your solvent lightly to the back of the garment, underneath the stain. You want it to be soaking through and driving the stain back toward the surface, not deeper into the garment. Applying it to the inside also gives you a little more security in case the solvent ends up discoloring the fabric (but you checked first on an unobtrusive area like we told you to, right?)
• Lay the garment face down on a clean paper towel. Like the absorbent, this gives the chemicals that are actually causing the stain something to soak into. If you don’t provide that blank medium, all you’re really doing is spreading the stain out so thin that it’s not immediately visible — it’s still there in the cloth. The paper towel gives it somewhere else to go.
• Let the garment rest face down on the paper towel for an hour or so. Different solvents have different reaction times, but give it a while. The only real guideline here is to get back for your final rinse before the solvent dries completely. Keep an eye on it. If it is allowed to completely dry, you may just end up with a bigger, lighter-colored stain than before.
• Give the garment a final water rinse to remove both the stain and the solvent. If you can, immediately wash it, either in a laundry machine or by taking it in for dry cleaning.

Some stains can be removed simply by a wash or a dry cleaning, but it’s best to apply the specific treatment as well. In the case of delicate wools or silks, that may mean nothing but water.

10 Common Stains and How to Treat Them

To give you a few examples of how to use the knowledge above, here are ten of the most common stains a man can expect to encounter. These could affect everything from his grungy work jeans to his best business suit.

Always take the type of fabric into account, and seek professional cleaning if you’re not sure what you can and can’t apply — it’s a lot cheaper to pay $10 for a professional’s help than it is to replace a suit because you used the wrong cleaner on it!

But if you have your heart set on home cleaning, here’s some general tips how to tackle common stains. The examples can be applied to other stains as well. Again, remember to adjust according to the directions above depending on the type of fabric the stain is on.

1. Blood: Rinse immediately with cool water. If possible, immerse in room temperature water with detergent and let soak for 10-15 minutes. Spot-treat with an enzyme cleaner if possible, or with household ammonia. Launder in a separate load.
2. Butter/Lard/Cooking Oil: Treat immediately with lukewarm water. If possible, immerse in warm water with detergent, using a spray or stick pre-treatment if available. Remove and gently dab stain with detergent; place face down on a paper towel and let stand. Repeat as needed. For persistent stains, carefully apply bleach or dry cleaning solvent from the inside of the garment and rest face down on paper towels, then wash thoroughly.
3. Coffee: Soak immediately with lukewarm water. Gently dab stain with detergent or with vinegar diluted in water. Wash in the hottest water recommended for the fabric and repeat as needed. Avoid bar or powder soap, which can set the stain permanently.
4. Sweat/Armpit Stains and Collar Yellowing: Wash with hot water and detergent. If yellowing persists, soak in warm water and let stand with a dusting of salt, or apply an enzyme cleaner. Bleach can be used to remove staining on whites as a last-ditch solution.
5. Tomato-Based: Remove excess sauce/paste carefully with a butter knife of spoon. Dab liquid detergent onto the stain. Rinse with cold water from underneath the stain; again, you don’t want to push it back into the fabric. Launder normally, according to the tag.
6. Engine Grease/Machine Oil: Treat immediately with warm water. As soon as possible, soak in warm water with heavy-duty detergent. Remove, treat stained area with detergent directly, and lay face-down on paper towels. Launder separately. Repeat as needed.
7. Mud/Dirt: Soak and agitate (shake around) in lukewarm water to remove as much as possible. Apply detergent to remaining stains and let soak for 20-30 minutes. Rinse and repeat. Launder normally, and treat any remaining stains with bleach if possible.
8. Wine: Treat immediately with warm water. Salt stain and let stand if possible. Rinse salt out, dab gently with detergent or glycerin, and lay face down on a paper towel. Rinse again and launder normally. Avoid bar or flake soaps, which can set the stain permanently.
9. Urine and Feces: Remove and rinse immediately in cool water. Avoid heat, which can set the proteins permanently. Soak and agitate in cool water with detergent. Drain and soak again, letting stand for 20-30 minutes. Launder immediately. Bleach if necessary, but rewash afterward in the case of diapers — bleach is too harsh for babies’ skin.
10. Odors: Not all stains are visible. For odors that persist through a normal laundering, apply calcium carbonate crystals or activated charcoal and let stand for several hours (or several days, as needed). Shake off and use a gentle hand vacuum to clean residue. If there is a visible stain along with the odor, use an enzyme cleaner. Febreze can also work wonders here

Treating Stains on the Go

You can’t always rush home to remove a stain from your clothes, and if you’re stuck with a big attention-grabbing stain on your clothes for hours on end without any chance to change, it can be embarrassing. Consider packing something like the Tide to Go Instant Stain Remover stick in your dopp kit and to keep in your car. It can remove several common food and drink stains from your clothes with an easy and quick application.

Conclusion: Immediate Action is the Best Product

Nothing treats a stain as well as immediate action. Get some room temperature water on it right away and you’re doing well. Once you’ve got the stain thoroughly soaked, you can take the time to look up the appropriate treatment, or get it to a professional cleaner. Don’t damage expensive clothing by trying elaborate home remedies when one commercial product or one trip to the dry cleaner will take care of everything.

Swagga Digital Magazine featuring Siete Clothing Co

Blog Post #13

We have been lucky enough to be featured in the latest issue of Swagga Digital Magazine. Feel free to purchase either the digital or print version at http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/634980

Chrysalis Issue 1 editorial featuring Siete Clothing Co

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